the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
