i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
