would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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