I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
