just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
