tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
