I wish life had little blips of pornography
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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