Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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