I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize