looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
