dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
