I could have mohawked her pubes.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
