I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
