I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
