Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
