You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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