Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
