I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize