Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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