at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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