She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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