season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
