so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
