dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
