Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
