I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
As shirtless as possible
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
