definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
