he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
