So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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