i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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