The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
