why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize