Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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