isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
