we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
God I need to hump something, right now.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
