I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
