His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
