I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize