ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize
