It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
