scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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