i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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