I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
