When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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