My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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