dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Drake has all the answers
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
