So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
