pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Pooping to opera.
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