why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
