and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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