There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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