He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
