I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
