I will die if light touches me.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
