Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
