Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize