I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i will never coherently bang her
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
NoShamevember. You game?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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