Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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