why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
