If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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