Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
