I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i out mim tonsoeep
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