I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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