Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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