Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
