btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
