Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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