yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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