Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
