That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
