and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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