I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
